Progress

I keep seeing progresses of everyone else,

And I keep finding myself not doing anything to change the situation I'm in,

But then I remember all the instances when I tried and it didn't work out in my favour.

The thing is, the energy to make things happen,

To put all the efforts in the right direction,

And then to see it fall apart in front of my eyes is exhausting,

Is heartbreaking,

Is what depletes my hope,

From whatever is left now,

From whichever corner I'm using it from,

It's crushing,

Then each day goes by like a torture,

Where problems are solved, but not mine,

Life is happening, but not mine,

Life is progressing, but not mine,

Where am I supposed to go,

What am I supposed to do,

What am I doing so wrong right now,

That I feel so unseen by the forces,

So unheard, so ignored, so defeated,

How will everything feel alright again?

How will I make progress?

Will I ever?