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The First

The first time I heard your name I knew I was going to have trouble to forget it no matter what.

I kept on saying it again and again in my head, liking the way my tongue touched the top of my mouth ever so slightly.

I kept on uttering it that night to my pillow in a desperate attempt to fall asleep.

The next morning my mother asks me what I was muttering in sleep, afraid that she’ll ask who you were, she said, you should not take stress, girl. Stress makes you sleep talk.

How relieved I was to listen that. Not that stress makes me sleep talk, but she didn’t know what I was saying.

A favourite singer then releases a new song. A song which is for you. No, I didn’t assume that, it had your name in it. Can you believe that?

I heard that song on loop the whole day, almost tearing up at one moment.

How can someone be so obsessed by a name?

How can someone have a name so pure, so soulful and hard to forget?

How do I make my heart forget it now, after months and months of knowing how impossible it is for a person named like that to get?

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