I want to be kind. No, scratch that. I want to be the most kindest person you've ever encountered in your life.
I want them to believe that kindness is still alive. It exists, even in the harshest of the harsh moments. I want them to believe that when people can chose to neglect the simplest and often easiest of the human emotion, I want to embrace it and show it off to everyone. Because, maybe my one act of kindness can transform the couse of the person's life. Maybe, my one act of kindness can bring a smile to their face. Maybe, my one act of kindness could be the only thing someone needs to deal with the bad day they might be having. Because, my one act of kindness could be no big deal to someone in the smaller perspective, but maybe, that will remain in their back of the minds and they, too, will do an act of kindness for someone else selflessly.
But, I also want to be fierce. I don't want people to take my kindness for granted. Because, if they do, I want to give them with the fiercest fire that I can. Often, when you give so much to everyone, you tend to run out of it. Honestly, I am running out of it, but I am trying my best to save it. First, for myself, then, for others.
Someone recently told me, I could have chosen to be fierce in a situation, but, I chose to be kind and use the kindest words to express what I wanted to. But, I didn't want to hurt someone when I was hurt myself. I didn't want my hurt to start a domino effect of unkindness and like I said, I want to be remembered as the most kindest person they have ever encountered in their life. I didn't want my hurt to be contagious. I want my kindness to be contagious and infectious.
On a side note, do not take my kindness as my weakness, it is my strength and even though I have depleted sources of empathy right now, I am trying to fill them up. One day at a time.