I want this to stop, Questions to stop, Expectations from me to know about everything to stop. Expectations of right answers from me too stop. Because whatever I will say, will never ever be right for you, anyway. I don't want to think, overthink or figure out anything, I want everything to just stop.

Ever since I realised, I have big, big feelings, And not everyone has the capacity to understand them, I've only realised the same fact, Over and over again, Years later too, Only to be called rebellious and wrong, Only to be criticized for feeling sad and angry, Only for the actual reasons to cause it ignored, Only to be left alone to deal with them, Only to be misunderstood forever. I am, once again, Tired of everything and everyone.

I currently despise and get disgusted by, All, I mean it when I say, all, Members of a certain gender, Of the smartest animals to exist on this planet. Over and out.

Today felt like an afternoon from the summer vacation when I used to be in school/college. The air had something nostalgic in it, As I read a book, Determined to finish it off in one day, Like I used to do back during summer holidays, Curtains drawn dimming the light, And nothing on the mind.

The kind of heaviness, I feel inside of me, Requires a long hug, And an assuring conversation. About everything.

The fragrance of the forest, Highlighted at that one secret spot, Another secret stop, Calls me again and again. Visions of you, Go past me everyday, Do you see me too, Despite always looking away?

I've been so comfortable in my own space, That now it's looking like a flaw, Now, I have to learn new ways, To find a balance between peace and chaos.

A friend called after months today and though I didn't share the depths of my heart's thoughts with him, it felt like he could see the insides of my brain. Because, whatever he said about me was so perfect. A friend calling you out on your behaviour because they want to see you grow and be happy feels so wholesome. It's like, damn, I need to do well, not just for me, but for the friend who sees that version of me that can exist. 🥺 Living on his hope for now. Until, I gather

I think I did pretty well, All throughout the day, Which tested all of us, Left, right and centre, Hopefully, all the parties, Have learnt their individual lessons, Because, I, have, I guess, ie: set boundaries, leave early, don't trust the timings of the local trains, don't get upset because of things you're not in control of, don't rush, live in the moment, try to reflect what you're being taught, have patience, work on small things without procrastinating or you'll have to

January has just felt like an extended version of December, Have you felt anything different than just the change of the numerics at the end of the date? Because the vibe is what you feel from inside, Be it December, January or February.

I am so upset and angry, At probably everything today, For all the ways life has turned out, Despite being good, I am angry for the things I didn't get, For all the things that I still don't have, For everything that I deserve, And yet not served. I am angry at every little thing that hasn't happened yet.

Can I come back to you, Wounded from the battles, I fight silently in my head, Scratched all over with scars my thoughts cause, Breathless yet with my heart beating too fast, The same one you broke once, The same one that I have been mending since, Can I come back to you?