Another October passing by, With its last day feeling more like August, Sound of rain as I wake up, Overcast sky all day, Honestly I kind of like it a bit much, The way this rain keeps saying goodbye.

Early rings, Random late conversations, Mind full of doubts, With hope lingering all over, Crazy as crazy could get, Unexpected as unexpected could be.

I'm beading every breath, With the thread of hope, To decorate my life with memories, Rather than thoughts that choke me to death.

That random wave of unproductivity, Followed by a banger idea, Proves that, Everything goes wrong, Before it starts to go right, The only way to reach that point, Is to keep going.

As the sky turns from black to blue to orange, I sit in silence, Along with the noise in my head, Blasting sad songs, Until the sunlight hits my face, And reminds me what I'm made of.

To be seen, To not just be seen, But finally noticed, To be known, To be heard, I didn't know I was missing those feelings, Until someone, Saw me, Not just see me, Notice me, Know me, Hear me, I didn't know I was missing those feelings.

The utter desperation, To survive, Reeks of hope and logic, Until we keep fighting, To survive, Often forgetting, How to live, Because of the desperation.

Staring at the sky, The moments go by, The clouds shift places, In all the limited spaces, Like the ones in our heart, Scared of new things right at the start.

I keep wondering how people find the perfect outfits for every ocassion, I, have no patience for offline shopping, And there are so many things online, That I often get stuck in analysis paralysis, Eventually everything I like is out of stock, And those things are not available in my local markets.

Sooner or later, Something happens, That makes it all okay.

Sometimes I don't feel like writing, Because I have already written about it before, But I haven't processed it completely, Which makes me want to write about it again, But I don't want to sound like a stopped clock, So, I try to find new ways to say that thing. And, also, Probably because I don't want you to know how I'm really feeling.

How much are these lights illuminating the darkness of our minds? How much of this happiness is real? p.s. sending strength, hugs and love to everyone who's feeling the big emotions this festive season. 🎐