Explained to someone how, My hyper independence is not so great, Because it refrains me from asking for any help when I need it, And it hurt their ego, Because, a) they are a male and their ego is tiny and fragile. b) their response to anyone talking to them about something that's been bothering them and wanting their help or simply communicate is to shut down, avoid, give silent treatment. c) and when they come to me for any kind of help or communication and i set a boundary

The theory that, Each different person, Brings out a new version of you, Scared me sometimes, Because I don't know, Which version of me, Will stop you from knowing me more, Will you still walk by my side? Will you still like me? Will you still stay even when everyone else has left?

I thought I was doing good, Pushing back insecurities of all the things that haven't happened yet to me, And not comparing my journey to someone else's, Until this evening, Which has hit me with a bag full of every insecurity, Every failure, Everything that hasn't happened to me yet, And caging me with the crazy thoughts, Pushing me behind the start line again, It's a long journey, again, From the start, again. is it the hormones, or is it existential crisis?

On a random May afternoon, I was thinking about how, How in school, Everyone seemed to get everything before I did, I did get there eventually, And this is not about studies, I was great in that, It's about everything else. (look at me comparing) And today, that still feels so valid. Then, moments ago, I found this reel that said, Have you noticed how when medals are distributed, The 3rd place is always called first, Then the 2nd place, And finally, The 1st is called the last

I hope they always see, That you're forged, From the same place as, The precious stones and metals, That you carry the same spark and strength, Like them, Like you are one of the precious elements of the universe. I hope you always see that too.

Waise toh mai usse nazrein uthakar na dekhu, Par guzarti zaroor hu, Uske saamne se. Waise toh woh mujhe nazrein milakar na dekhe, Par guzarta zaroor hai, Mere saamne se. Waise toh mai usse nazrein milakar dekhu, Par dekhe toh woh mujhe, Guzarate hue saamne se. Waise toh woh mujhe nazrein uthakar dekhe, Par dekhu toh usse mai, Guzarate hue saamne se.

Artsy Girl Spends Sunday Afternoon Doing Maths For Her Art Business. Sunday Spent Well With Percentages, Numbers, Multiplication, Division, Addition and Subtraction. A Girl Gets Traumatized By Doing Simple Maths For Her Business. Maths Makes Artsy Girls Head Spin. Sources say she never got any answers correct in her Boards' Finals Papers. She confesses, she doesn't know how she cleared Mathematics in school. my maths professors will be horrified. but, even they knew i didn't

Things I noticed today: saw a kite fighting with a crow mid-air. the kids playing cricket the middle of the road lost their ball for 10+ mins. ate the best mango of the season. (yet) the sky looked pretty after sunset. my sports team is winning the match against their biggest rivals. made some sample bouquets for an order. researched about some sustainable yarn. added some items to my junk journal.

It's a new day of a new month, The clouds are littered in the blue sky, The air feels lighter, The sun is brighter, And there's some vibe in the atmosphere, That reminds you of the summer vacations as kids, It feels okay. It feels right.

Thing I realized/learnt in April: writing is still difficult and i don't really know what to do about it i want to give myself everything i want but i am scared that uncontrollable things will ruin it for me i want to get away for a short break i am tired. i don't like to make decisions. i don't find anyone interesting to talk to on consecutive days. i don't want to talk to anyone. i want to scream. i miss the ocean and beach. i miss the mountains. i miss the version of me wh

The devil couldn't reach me, So, it snatched my desire to love, To write poems with passion, To work without taking long breaks. It increased my screen time, It gave me ideas but no will to work, It slowly poisoned my hope. Unfortunately, the devil couldn't reach me, Which means, I will thrive even when it feels like I'm losing, I will win, I always win.

Things I've been finding difficult lately: Sleeping on time Walking up early Reading books Starting work Stepping into the shower Going for walks Writing good poems